The Metaphor I Keep Coming Back To
I often get invited to speak at events or retreats. My first was in Lanzarote in 2022 at one of Jordan Stinson’s Revive Retreats.
I was nervous, but I loved it. There is nothing better than going deep with people and helping them see more clearly who they really are.
I do not pretend to have the full answer to that question, but I meet so many people weighed down by self-judgment and fear. I am pretty sure that who we really are is not that.
There is a metaphor I often share. It resonates deeply. In fact, three people I know have had tattoos created as reminders of it.
I learned it from Jamie Smart on Clarity Coach Training, so thank you Jamie.
Here it is:
We are all like diamonds, covered with horsesh*t, coated in nail varnish.
The diamond represents who we really are when we arrive in this world. Strong, multi-faceted, valuable, precious. Full of curiosity, creativity, resilience, compassion, and an incredible capacity to learn and grow. We are born amazing.
But it does not take long before we start picking up messages that make us doubt that truth. Parents, teachers, friends, and others tell us things like “not good enough”, “lazy”, “stupid”, “a failure”, “a disappointment”. Some of those messages stick. Over time, we start believing them.
That layer of negative beliefs is the horsesh*t. It hides the diamond. It represents who we fear we are.
Because we don’t like who we fear we are, we try to hide it. That is where the nail varnish comes in. It represents who we pretend to be.
We work hard to polish the surface and make life look better than we feel inside. We do it through achievements, success, clothes, cars, careers, relationships, or by being the person who never says no. None of these things are wrong in themselves. But when they are driven by a need to hide who we fear we are, life eventually catches up with us.
For me, it was burnout.
I burned myself out trying to prove I was good enough. But I was trying to outrun a belief that was never true in the first place. And that is the point. All the effort we put into hiding who we fear we are is unnecessary. Those beliefs are not true. You are a diamond. You always have been.
Who you really are is amazing and incredible. There are no exceptions. And when you start living from that place, life begins to look and feel completely different.
How we think about ourselves matters.
What about you?
Do you know you are a diamond? Or have you lost sight of who you really are and are working hard to keep the nail varnish in place?
If you are tired of striving and efforting and want to get back to the flow of living from who you truly are, call me. I may be able to help.
Much love,
Peter