I Am That I Don’t Have To Do It All On My Own I was on a call this afternoon with a group of coaches who are attending Ankush Jain’s Career Coaching School (AJC).
The group is spread across the world … India, USA, Europe and the UK. They are all very successful at what they do. When I was invited to be part of the group I was excited … but also a little apprehensive.
These were people I looked up to. If I’m honest, I had probably put many of them on a pedestal. I wasn’t sure if I would fit in. I wasn’t sure if I would have much to contribute to the conversations that would unfold as we spent six months together.
Today was one of our final calls before the programme ends in London in a couple of weeks. It may well be the last time this group is ever in the same room together.
We started the call with a simple check-in.
People sharing what was going on for them. How they were feeling.
Over the months this has become a group of people who genuinely care for each other and support each other. One person spoke about having pushed things very hard for a period of time and feeling tired.
They weren’t the only one.
A few others shared something similar.
Nobody was complaining.
Just honest reflection from people who care deeply about their work and their clients … and who had been running hard for quite a while.
As one person opened up, it created the space for others to do the same.
The love and support on the call were palpable.
No fixing.
Just presence … listening … understanding … love.
It was powerful to witness.
It took me back to a very different time in my life.
The time I burned out.
A time when I stopped coping.
A time when answering the phone felt stressful.
Even simple things felt overwhelming.
Back then I was working hard. Committed to my job. Committed to my family. Committed to community projects. Saying yes to almost everything.
I had people around me who loved me. People who knew I was struggling and tried to help.
The problem was, I didn’t even realise something was wrong.
And even if I had realised, I wouldn’t have been open to talking about it or asking for help.
It wasn’t until things really collapsed that I finally reached out.
I never want to go back there again.
I am deeply committed to that never happening again.
And I structure my life and my work in a way that supports that commitment.
It’s not perfect.
Sometimes I still get pulled off course. Distracted. Enticed by a shiny object. Chasing something that looks good but doesn’t really matter to me.
But that happens a lot less than it used to … and I’m much better at catching myself when it does.
I have become more disciplined about managing my energy.
I’m building my life around what truly matters to me.
Sleep, exercise and nutrition.
Space to think.
Space to be present with my clients.
My business is intentionally simple.
I work one-to-one with business owners and leaders … helping them escape stress, overwhelm and self-doubt … and guiding them towards clarity, confidence and success.
No programmes. No schools. No big immersions.
There’s nothing wrong with those things … they’re just not for me.
And most importantly, I’m building a life where I’m not doing it all on my own.
A life where I am deeply connected to people who love me … people who have my back … people I am willing to go to when I’m struggling.
When I burned out in 2006, I was doing everything on my own.
I was on a mission to prove I was good enough.
Nothing was too much.
Nothing was too hard.
And I never needed help.
Or so I told myself.
Connection to people matters deeply to me now.
The title of this newsletter, “I am that I don’t have to do it all on my own”, is a line from my document that reminds me of that every single day.
The photos with this piece are of some of the people who are part of that village around me.
My Magic 5 mastermind colleagues.
The men I train with.
My coach Ankush.
My friend in a million, Ali.
My brothers.
Time with the people I love.
And most importantly … Jules, Jake and Soph.
There’s an old African proverb that says,
“It takes a village to raise a child.”
Meaning that an entire community … family, friends, neighbours and teachers … help create the environment where a child can grow and thrive.
I’m not sure that idea only applies to children.
I’m 57.
And the ‘village’ I have around me now is incredibly important to how I live my life. These people steady me. They challenge me. They support me. They remind me who I am when I forget.
They make it possible for me to keep growing … to keep creating myself … and to keep creating the life I want to live.
For a long time, I thought strength meant doing everything on my own.
Now I see it differently.
Strength, for me, looks much more like connection.
So I’ll leave you with a question that has been sitting with me.
Who is in your village?
Who are the people in your world that mean you don’t have to do it all on your own?
Much love