I have an appointment in my calendar for 8.15am next Wednesday.
It’s been there for two or three months and, when I booked it, I wasn’t entirely sure it would happen.
I’ve already scheduled it twice this year and had to cancel both times because of injury.
It’s my VO₂ max test.
The last time I did one was May 2025, on my birthday.
I went into that test with a previous score of 50.4 and was convinced I was going to improve it.
I didn’t.
I scored 46.7.
Still a respectable score, but nowhere near what I’d expected.
I was disappointed for about ten minutes.
Then I started asking questions.
What had happened?
What was missing from my training?
What needed to change?
I concluded that I’d spent too much time training at lower intensities and not enough time working close to my threshold and above it.
So Jordan and I changed the system.
We kept the resistance training.
We kept the Zone 2.
We added high intensity intervals.
And over the last couple of months, I’ve added a weekly threshold session.
Yesterday was my final high intensity session before next week’s test.
Four intervals.
Five minutes each.
14 km/h on the treadmill.
Five minutes recovery between each one.
I’d never done that before.
I’ve run three-minute intervals at that speed.
I’ve finished sessions with a five-minute interval at that speed.
But I’d never accumulated twenty minutes at 14 km/h in a single session.
Yesterday I did.
And the part that pleased me most wasn’t actually the speed.
My heart rate never went above 182.
My threshold heart rate is around 184.
Twelve months ago I couldn’t have done that session.
Even if I’d somehow managed to hold the pace, my heart rate would have climbed beyond threshold, my breathing and running form would have deteriorated and eventually I’d have had to slow down or stop.
Yesterday I completed all four intervals.
Hard work.
But controlled.
Whatever number appears on the screen next Wednesday, it will just be a number … data I can do something with.
And perhaps more interestingly, I’ve noticed something else has changed.
Me.
In the past, I’ve made VO₂ max tests a big deal.
I’d think about them beforehand.
Build them up in my head.
Turn them into some kind of moment of truth.
And without really noticing, I’d make the result mean something about me.
A good score felt good.
A disappointing score felt bad.
The number stopped being a number.
It became personal.
I’m seeing next Wednesday very differently.
It’s just another training session.
There is no medal.
No prize.
No destination.
And the number I get will have absolutely no meaning beyond what it can tell me about how I performed on that particular morning.
It will tell me something about how effectively my body can use oxygen at high intensity.
It will give Jordan and me some useful information about how well the training system is working.
And then we’ll use that information.
If something needs changing, we’ll change it.
If the system is working, we’ll keep going.
That’s it.
At some point we’ll decide it’s time for me to race again.
And when I do, the race will give us more information.
I’ll perform however I perform on the day.
We’ll look at what worked.
We’ll look at what didn’t.
Then we’ll go back to work.
I’ve spent a lot of my life making results mean things they could never possibly mean.
A business result.
A race time.
A number on a screen.
Someone saying yes.
Someone saying no.
Success.
Failure.
I could turn any of them into evidence about me.
Maybe that’s where so much unnecessary pressure comes from.
Because a result can tell me what happened.
It can tell me where my performance is right now.
It can help me decide what to do next.
But it can’t tell me who I am.
There’s enormous freedom in seeing that.
It doesn’t make me less committed to the result.
If anything, I think it makes me more committed.
Because I can go after what I want without needing the outcome to prove anything about me.
So next Wednesday at 8.15am, I’ll get on the treadmill and give it everything I’ve got.
I’d love to get a great score.
I’m certainly not pretending I don’t care.
But whatever number eventually appears…
…it will just be a number.
Then Jordan and I will decide what comes next.
A moment of truth?
I don’t think so.
Just another training session.
I’ll let you know how it goes next week.
Much love
Peter