I had a coaching session with Ankush this morning.
Our first since the Powerful Men’s Immersion ended almost two weeks ago.
I knew what I wanted to talk about.
I knew because whenever I thought about it, I felt a little uncomfortable.
And when I feel like that, I’ve learned I’m usually looking in the right direction.
I wasn’t entirely sure what my question was, so I just started talking about what was on my mind, trusting the question would eventually appear.
It went back to something that came up during the Immersion.
One of the questions we’d been asked to consider was:
“Where in your life are things not as good as it gets?”
I knew my answer immediately.
Everywhere.
Because I don’t believe “as good as it gets” actually exists.
No matter how good any area of my life becomes, there is always more available.
More to see.
More to experience.
More to create.
More room to grow.
Always a mountain without a summit.
But then another thought appeared.
My life is pretty good.
Then…
No. My life is really good.
Most areas of my life are as good as they’ve ever been.
I love my life.
So why not just settle for things as they are?
Why not simply be content with what I already have?
There’s nothing wrong with that.
There’s nothing wrong with being happy with the life I have.
But over the last couple of weeks, whenever those thoughts appeared, I noticed something else.
I felt a little flat.
A little confused.
It was as though I was telling myself I should be satisfied with everything exactly as it is.
Yet something inside me was saying a very clear…
NO.
Then the judgement would counter the NO.
Why can’t you just be happy with what you’ve got?
Are you being selfish?
Greedy?
And almost in the next breath I’d judge myself from the opposite direction.
Why aren’t you more passionate about what you’re doing?
Why haven’t you figured out your purpose?
What is it you actually want?
My thinking can get a bit fast and furious at times.
And that rarely, if ever, serves me.
Ankush patiently listened to my download.
Then he said:
“Sounds like you’ve got a bit outside-in, Peter.”
I didn’t need a beat to see the truth in that.
I was judging myself for not being happy enough with what I had…
…when what I had or didn’t have wasn’t creating my experience in the first place.
The problem wasn’t what I had or didn’t have.
The problem was the judgement I was creating around it.
I was also judging myself for not having “found my purpose”, whatever that means.
So often, it has looked to me as though things would be better if I could just figure that out.
Maybe I’d be more passionate.
Maybe I’d be more fulfilled.
Maybe I’d even be happier.
Ankush wondered:
“Who says you haven’t found your purpose?”
There was only one answer.
Me.
He reminded me that whatever purpose we have is something we create anyway.
He brought me back to what the 3 Principles have shown me again and again.
Nothing outside of me can create my experience for me.
And then he said something that began to open the whole conversation up:
“Our power comes from who we are being.”
As we continued talking, I started thinking about my fitness and training.
There’s no shortage of passion there.
But suddenly I saw something I’d been missing.
My fitness doesn’t give me that passion.
I bring the passion to it.
I bring the energy.
I bring the commitment.
I bring the possibility.
I decide what I want to create in that area of my life and then I show up as the person committed to creating it.
There are days when I absolutely love training.
There are other days when I have to push myself out the door.
The circumstances change.
The feeling changes.
But the thing that energises that whole area of my life is who I am being in relation to it.
My passion for my fitness and training has everything to do with who I am being.
And suddenly I saw it.
Who I am being is everything.
I’ve heard those words so many times over the last few years.
I’ve written about them.
I’ve talked about them.
They’re woven through my document.
I thought I knew what they meant.
Today they landed differently.
Who I am being is everything because being is the fuel from which I create my life.
In my relationship with Jules.
With Jake and Soph.
With my family.
In my business.
In my friendships.
In my health.
In whatever I decide to create next.
Maybe I don’t need to wait to “find” more passion.
Maybe I don’t need to discover some purpose that’s been hiding somewhere waiting for me to stumble across it.
And maybe wanting to grow doesn’t mean I’m ungrateful for the life I already have.
I can deeply love what is…
…and still be excited about what I want to create.
Those two things aren’t in conflict.
That may have been the biggest thing I saw this morning.
My power isn’t sitting somewhere out there waiting for circumstances to change.
It’s here.
In who I am being.
In how I show up.
In what I choose to create.
I don’t get to choose everything life presents.
I don’t get to control every outcome.
But my freedom is in who I choose to be in relation to whatever life presents.
And in every moment, I get to choose again.
Being really is everything.
Game on!
Much love
Peter