I had a great conversation this week with a colleague from the last cohort of the AJC (Ankush Jain Coaching Career School).
Johnson is deeply committed to his coaching. To give you some sense of that commitment, he travelled from his home in Taiwan to London to be part of the in-person event.
We only spent a little time together while we were there. When you’re in a room of almost 50 coaches, that’s inevitable. But we connected enough to agree we’d stay in touch.
This week was only our second conversation since March. Johnson took the pic above during our first conversation.
In the short time I’ve known Johnson, I’ve come to see him as one of the most thoughtful, curious and present people I’ve ever met.
Sometimes I’d ask him a question, and I could see him slowing down to receive it. Rather than rushing to answer, he seemed to let the question settle before responding from somewhere much deeper.
During our conversation he told me about meeting his own coach in London for the first time.
They met at The Shard.
At one point his coach looked at him and asked,
“When are you going to stop pretending you’re not an extraordinary coach?”
I loved the question.
Not because I knew the answer.
Because it was curious, creative and loaded with possibility.
I have no idea what was true for Johnson.
Maybe somewhere inside he already knew.
Maybe he couldn’t see it at all.
I don’t know.
But I do know what happened next.
The question turned around and found me.
Where am I pretending?
Where am I avoiding the greatness that’s mine to step into?
Where am I still playing small?
Where am I holding back?
Where am I not seeing what’s possible because I’m afraid of what I might see?
Where am I creating stories that quietly justify staying exactly where I am?
I’ve realised this isn’t work that ever ends.
It is the work.
I recently came across a line in The Way of Mastery that has stayed with me ever since.
“You are the thought of love in form.”
I don’t pretend to fully understand it.
But something in me knows it’s pointing towards something true.
Over the last few years I’ve often described my own journey as one from fear to love.
Away from the stories, judgements and beliefs that shaped so much of my life.
Towards greater freedom.
Greater self-acceptance.
Greater love.
So much has changed.
And yet I still find myself listening to the same old stories.
What if it goes wrong?
What if I fail?
What will people think?
What if I’m not enough?
I’ve started to see that the fear has never really been in life.
It’s been in the stories I’ve innocently believed about me, about life.
Maybe that’s why Johnson’s coach’s question has stayed with me all week.
Not because it was really about Johnson.
Because it became about me.
Where am I still pretending?
I have a feeling that’s a question I’ll be living with for a long time.
Because somewhere inside it…
…is another level of freedom.
Much love
Peter